The Kind of Wealth We Don’t Talk About Enough

A few weeks ago, I loaded up the car with my 11-year-old son and everything we'd need for a summer road trip back to my hometown of Cincinnati.

The plan was simple: spend some time with family, then head back home.

Life had other plans.

Almost as soon as I arrived, my car suffered a major mechanical failure. The engine now has to be torn apart, and what was supposed to be a relatively short trip has suddenly turned into at least three weeks.

To make matters more complicated, every service center was short-staffed because of the Fourth of July holiday, none had loaner cars available, and getting answers about what was happening - or when I'd be able to get back on the road - felt painfully slow.

For a few days, I found myself sitting in that familiar place we all know: uncertainty.

When can I get home?

How am I going to work?

How will we get around?

When will life feel normal again?

But something became very clear to me almost immediately.

This experience would have felt completely different if I had broken down somewhere unfamiliar - If I had driven 7 hours to explore Maine, for example, where it's remote and I don't know anyone.

Instead, I was in Cincinnati.  This is my hometown where I have lots of extended family.

A cousin had an extra car I was able to borrow.

There were spare bedrooms and home offices where I could work.

My son had cousins to spend time with instead of sitting in a hotel room wondering what was happening.

And every time a new problem came up, there wasn't just one solution - there were several.

As I thought about it, I realized I wasn't just benefiting from having family...I was benefiting from having options. Support wasn't resting on one person. It was woven into a network of relationships that could absorb the stress of the situation so that it wasn't all just on me.

As a psychologist who studies loneliness, I spend a lot of time talking about the importance of social connection. But this experience reminded me that relationships aren't just there to celebrate birthdays or holidays.

They're part of our resilience. They're the infrastructure that quietly carries us through life's unexpected moments.

We often think of wealth as money in the bank. But, there's another kind of wealth that matters just as much: relational wealth.

It's having people you can call.

It's having someone with an extra bedroom.

An extra car.

A familiar face.

A child who has cousins to play with while life feels uncertain.

We don't build these relationships because we know exactly when we'll need them. We build them because one day, life inevitably surprises us. And when it does, the strength of our relationships often determines whether hardship feels isolating or simply manageable.

It's in the people who make adversity easier to carry.

Wishing you all a wonderful week,

James K. Ellis, Ph.D.